Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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