Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The Olympian is in my bed
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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