just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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