it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just want to make out with him forever
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
