my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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