I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize