Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
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