I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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