I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
