You made me cry and you don't even care
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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