Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
