I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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