wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
