Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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