I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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