Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
