don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I didn't notice because vodka
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Come on in and take your pants off
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