I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
