Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
