Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
