We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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