Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I AM VODKA MAN
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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