I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize