Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
NoShamevember. You game?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
