I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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