Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
