what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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