Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
