Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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