he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
