Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
