I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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