I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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