oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
