can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
