Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
