Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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