I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
