let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
