so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I intend to get homeless drunk
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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