Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize