Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
