he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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