His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
