You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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