Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize