walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
