and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
