just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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