you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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