My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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