Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
