One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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