He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
