He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize