He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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