You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
