I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
