I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
