I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
