I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
