Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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