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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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