Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
