And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize