he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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