bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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