I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
