even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
