We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
