That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
