Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
a search helicopter?!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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