you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
