They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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