Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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